Praying for Snails

Now sometimes we pray for things and we are given them in the most direct ways possible. For instance, you can commonly hear "Don't pray for patience, because God will send things to test it." Well duh, God is going to answer your prayer. He promises to answer them. "Seek and you shall find, ask and it shall be given." Seem familiar? I was reading through my journal the other day and saw where I had prayed for some outrageous things and yet when they were given to me I griped about wanting something different. It looks to me that God has given me exactly what I asked for but when it's not in the way, fashion, or timing that I necessarily want it's all the sudden the absolute wrong thing to give. 


And at the same time we paint God up to be an only gentle, caring, loving, forgiving God. He is all of this, but the key word here is only. God gets angry. God delivers punishment. God allows us to live with the consequences. One thing I prayed for over the summer was for God to change my life. In my head, I meant the spiritual and reliance on him aspects, not the literal physical and daily routines of my life. Boy, was I delivered a big doozy on that one. I left camp with completely different connections, outlooks, and people than I ever expected (or wanted) to leave with. He showed me just how flawed my priorities and values really were and that he was absolutely not okay with it. He reprimanded me like a father and I had to get a grip of the fact that all the changes (especially the painful ones) were part of the consequences that I had to live with. Were these consequences bad? No, they just stunk. But here again, I see that I prayed for my life to be changed and that's exactly what I was given. 


My roommates and I were talking at the supper table yesterday and the topic of how different we were since last year came up, and how we much more we had changed since high school. If you had told me in high school that I was going to be going for a nursing degree, driving a Kia, writing a blog, tearing my ACL, working at CentriKid, losing a good friend, moving to Athens, listening to country music, and occasionally wearing Vans and skinny jeans within the next two years, and have a completely different group of friends I probably would have said "Well, isn't that something?" walked away and tell myself I had just met the strangest person in my life. But that's only a taste of what I've done and how I've changed. 


Lexi put it a way that made me think, "God allowed things to happen for protection." I didn't want half of these things to happen (Honestly, I did want to go to UF...sorry Grandma and Aunt Lynn) but I looking at where I am now and how joyful and peaceful I am with my life I can't imagine things any differently. Even my mom comments on how much I have changed, I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "This is the Ashley that I've been wanting to see!" or "You are a completely different person, you're truly happy now and it shows thru your voice, laughter, even in the way you carry yourself." Those words show me that through everything that I've been through God was and still is protecting me and guiding me to become the lady I am now and will continue to become. 


The person I am isn't the same. The things I want aren't the same. And the things I pray for aren't the same. This is including the snails.


Live Today.