Finals week is in full swing. But let's be honest here. This is prime procrastination time. So while my class today was cancelled and I didn't leave my apartment, I somehow packed up my desk, tops of my dressers, underneath my desk, began a deep clean, worked out, showered, and studied. I honestly have no idea how that all even happened in one day. I just know that after rolling out of bed and finding out that class was cancelled, I began to check off my to-do list and all of the sudden it was dark outside.
This one isn't about finals though. This post is about a lesson that I've been learning over the past semester: Vulnerability.
Most of us hear that word and think, "Hmm. That is some lofty word that people use when they are thinking about saying something that might allow their feelings to get hurt, but then they might not actually say whatever it is." Well, at least that what went thru my head when we began reading a book about speaking freely in small group this past semester.
When we started this book we all talked about how we were hoping to see big changes in how we communicate with one another, but I didn't expect what was coming. I got to know the people I had met with for 2 years even better and I loved them all the more. So, I decided to apply vulnerability in my own life.
It hasn't been easy. In fact, the thought of being laughed at or hurt has been crippling sometimes but speaking up has given me great freedom. I have shared things that have weighed heavy on my heart. I have become more willing to ask for help. I finally have become more aware of how to respond when others are vulnerable with you.
I've been struggling with a control issue lately and thru this semester I've been asking for prayers, advice, and help when I would normally have sat back and let it simmer in my head. Talking things out has been instrumental in my coming to terms that some things are just completely and utterly out of my control. I still slip up. I forget that this timeline that I'm trying to plan out does not merely concern me. In fact, it's not even really mine! To me the omniscience of God is a characteristic that I long to possess, even though it is not mine to have. I still let my mind run in 1,000 different directions but at the end of the day, I am helped, I am supported, and I am loved.
Admitting this is hard. Thinking about how I'm even going to change my mindset it harder. How are we supposed to give up control? How do you let go? Prayer.
"6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Phil. 4:6-7
This semester has changed my life and it won't stop until December 18, 2014 when I have officially closed my apartment door and head back to Jesup to begin working. I am thankful for all that I've been taught.
Here's a verse that I've kept in mind throughout my struggle.
14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:14-15
Live Today.
This one isn't about finals though. This post is about a lesson that I've been learning over the past semester: Vulnerability.
Most of us hear that word and think, "Hmm. That is some lofty word that people use when they are thinking about saying something that might allow their feelings to get hurt, but then they might not actually say whatever it is." Well, at least that what went thru my head when we began reading a book about speaking freely in small group this past semester.
When we started this book we all talked about how we were hoping to see big changes in how we communicate with one another, but I didn't expect what was coming. I got to know the people I had met with for 2 years even better and I loved them all the more. So, I decided to apply vulnerability in my own life.
It hasn't been easy. In fact, the thought of being laughed at or hurt has been crippling sometimes but speaking up has given me great freedom. I have shared things that have weighed heavy on my heart. I have become more willing to ask for help. I finally have become more aware of how to respond when others are vulnerable with you.
I've been struggling with a control issue lately and thru this semester I've been asking for prayers, advice, and help when I would normally have sat back and let it simmer in my head. Talking things out has been instrumental in my coming to terms that some things are just completely and utterly out of my control. I still slip up. I forget that this timeline that I'm trying to plan out does not merely concern me. In fact, it's not even really mine! To me the omniscience of God is a characteristic that I long to possess, even though it is not mine to have. I still let my mind run in 1,000 different directions but at the end of the day, I am helped, I am supported, and I am loved.
Admitting this is hard. Thinking about how I'm even going to change my mindset it harder. How are we supposed to give up control? How do you let go? Prayer.
"6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Phil. 4:6-7
This semester has changed my life and it won't stop until December 18, 2014 when I have officially closed my apartment door and head back to Jesup to begin working. I am thankful for all that I've been taught.
Here's a verse that I've kept in mind throughout my struggle.
14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:14-15
Live Today.
