How many times have I made a decision or impulsively done something without even giving my action a second thought? Tons. How many more times will it happen in my life? Tons. Recently, I've been provoked to look back over the recent years of my life and look, evaluate, and become truly aware of who and what my actions have affected. It's been a harrowing journey to say the least and my more drastic changes have come only within the past three years.
I look at my friends now and try to trace back to how we became more than just "Hey, how are ya?" people. Somewhere along the line, we decided that more communication was what we wanted to invest in and without a lot of thought, we became people that talked at length about pretty much anything. Some of these friends I've known since birth, but majority of the more recent ones came along after a very specific turn and twist of events in my life.
This time a year ago, I came to be a devastated person. My future had quite literally crumbled before my eyes and I called a few very specific people and told them all that had unfolded and they listened with almost equally as crushed opinions and hopes. My life fell into a tailspin for a few moments and as I talked to those people today they tell me that I was more than upset (what I originally thought I was), they told me I was devastated. After a quite lengthy talk with my mom and my Aunt, I came to fully understand that my life wasn't mine to waste. It is full of unexpected turns, punches, but most importantly failures. There are things that we have made so important in our lives that when they are removed, we feel like an incomplete and utterly cracked individual.
When I knew that I could no longer wallow in a situation that didn't deserve it, I stepped out. I started writing this blog, making friends with people in my classes, going out with different groups of people, laughing more, and becoming a woman that knew how to recover and move on with her life. I became surrounded by an amazing group of people that while are not my blood relatives, they practically are related. Even after an apology from the person that hurt me, I looked at the situation I was in and knew that while I could forgive, the decision that person made would always be connected with what my future could have been and what it has become today.
I look back and have actually become glad that my life took that twist and that dream fell and allowed God to come in and rebuild the pieces in his image. I look at my friends and know that without my collapse there's no way that I would be where I am now. However, so many times we think that our past decisions do not affect our future much less anyone else's. But while your choice may not devastate a person, it still alters their future. There is no choice you make that is ever truly disconnected from everyone but yourself and your past decisions shape your present reality.
Live Today.
I look at my friends now and try to trace back to how we became more than just "Hey, how are ya?" people. Somewhere along the line, we decided that more communication was what we wanted to invest in and without a lot of thought, we became people that talked at length about pretty much anything. Some of these friends I've known since birth, but majority of the more recent ones came along after a very specific turn and twist of events in my life.
This time a year ago, I came to be a devastated person. My future had quite literally crumbled before my eyes and I called a few very specific people and told them all that had unfolded and they listened with almost equally as crushed opinions and hopes. My life fell into a tailspin for a few moments and as I talked to those people today they tell me that I was more than upset (what I originally thought I was), they told me I was devastated. After a quite lengthy talk with my mom and my Aunt, I came to fully understand that my life wasn't mine to waste. It is full of unexpected turns, punches, but most importantly failures. There are things that we have made so important in our lives that when they are removed, we feel like an incomplete and utterly cracked individual.
When I knew that I could no longer wallow in a situation that didn't deserve it, I stepped out. I started writing this blog, making friends with people in my classes, going out with different groups of people, laughing more, and becoming a woman that knew how to recover and move on with her life. I became surrounded by an amazing group of people that while are not my blood relatives, they practically are related. Even after an apology from the person that hurt me, I looked at the situation I was in and knew that while I could forgive, the decision that person made would always be connected with what my future could have been and what it has become today.
I look back and have actually become glad that my life took that twist and that dream fell and allowed God to come in and rebuild the pieces in his image. I look at my friends and know that without my collapse there's no way that I would be where I am now. However, so many times we think that our past decisions do not affect our future much less anyone else's. But while your choice may not devastate a person, it still alters their future. There is no choice you make that is ever truly disconnected from everyone but yourself and your past decisions shape your present reality.
Live Today.
