The last time I wrote, I was talking about my life in Jesup. Well, only one major change has happened... D proposed! It was almost a week after I wrote my last post that he popped the question on St. Simon's Island at sunset. (Yes he did have the dogs involved and yes he did kneel at a certain angle to make the ring sparkle in the sunlight.) We are THRILLED to be planning our big day together. All the while, little things that I would have never thought of (i.e. what color are the dishes going to be and do they coordinate with the placemats?) have come out of the woodwork. Thank the good Lord above that I have a wonderful group of friends and family here to help me figure out if that teal should be paired with cream/faded brown/sand. (There are literally four different names for the same color.)
I can't pinpoint when it happened. In fact, I don't know what I was doing when I had the realization. I just knew that I was overwhelmed, no where near peace, and was exhausting myself quickly. An entry level job coupled with impending student loan payments didn't help either. I found myself in a constant cycle of "I really need to get this... but I'm too poor to afford it." Let me just add that I made the mistake of not paying attention to my dog food level, and thanks to the saving grace of my fiancée I was able to feed Daisy for an afternoon. That's the kind of stress level we're talking about here.
Then suddenly something just clicked. My brain quite literally went, "Ding. When's the last time your prayed for longer than 30 seconds? When's the last time you asked God to speak and then you waited and listened?" Doug and I had already faced a monumental trial and of course thru that I prayed and quoted the Bible. Then all of the sudden I was able to run my own little world, until I wasn't.
My world didn't shatter into a million little pieces nor did my heart break. My world just tilted before I even realized that it was moving. The finances were suddenly not as important. Neither were the shades of colors. (I'm still baffled that there are different names for the same color. Don't you even dare pull the "Cerulean" quote from the Devil Wears Prada.) All that was important was waking up each day and looking around me at people that need service.
Doug and I were talking one day and the topic of service came up. He told me that if he could make sure that he served someone in someway each and every day he would be happy. First, how ironic is it that he's talking about this topic? Two, I added that to his pile of "Things That Make Doug Great". I am very lucky to be marrying someone that so innately feels something for which I need a constant reminder.
Live Today.
I can't pinpoint when it happened. In fact, I don't know what I was doing when I had the realization. I just knew that I was overwhelmed, no where near peace, and was exhausting myself quickly. An entry level job coupled with impending student loan payments didn't help either. I found myself in a constant cycle of "I really need to get this... but I'm too poor to afford it." Let me just add that I made the mistake of not paying attention to my dog food level, and thanks to the saving grace of my fiancée I was able to feed Daisy for an afternoon. That's the kind of stress level we're talking about here.
Then suddenly something just clicked. My brain quite literally went, "Ding. When's the last time your prayed for longer than 30 seconds? When's the last time you asked God to speak and then you waited and listened?" Doug and I had already faced a monumental trial and of course thru that I prayed and quoted the Bible. Then all of the sudden I was able to run my own little world, until I wasn't.
My world didn't shatter into a million little pieces nor did my heart break. My world just tilted before I even realized that it was moving. The finances were suddenly not as important. Neither were the shades of colors. (I'm still baffled that there are different names for the same color. Don't you even dare pull the "Cerulean" quote from the Devil Wears Prada.) All that was important was waking up each day and looking around me at people that need service.
Doug and I were talking one day and the topic of service came up. He told me that if he could make sure that he served someone in someway each and every day he would be happy. First, how ironic is it that he's talking about this topic? Two, I added that to his pile of "Things That Make Doug Great". I am very lucky to be marrying someone that so innately feels something for which I need a constant reminder.
Live Today.
