Unspoken Forgiveness

Well, the title is really an oxymoron is it not? We are told by Jesus to forgive as God has forgiven us. Now looking back on my life there are some not so shining moments that God has had to forgive me for. But here's the deal. He won't forgive us unless we ask for it. 


At camp this summer the staff used this illustration, "God's forgiveness is a gift. But we have to take it. It's completely free, but he won't force it on us. The way we get this gift is simple, we have to ask for it." That doesn't seem so complicated does it? But how many times do we just think that our mess-ups will automatically be forgiven? Yes, we are saved from Hell as Christians but when we mess up it hurts God. And the last time I checked whenever you hurt someone you need to ask for their forgiveness. 


This morning I woke up to a message from someone asking for forgiveness that I never in a million years thought would think to ask for it. In fact, in my mind there was no need for them to even ask for it. In fact, inside I knew it was I who needed to ask in the first place. With that being said, forgiveness was asked for from both parties and honestly it's like a little weight is gone. 


1 Thess. 5:12-15: We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone.

We cannot neglect the ACT of asking for forgiveness from other people and especially from our creator. 

Don't let forgiveness go unspoken.

Live Today.

Great As A Child

This morning I got up and went to church. And I was running a little late. Not exactly a stunning revelation. Bumped into a friend for a quick hello but then realized I needed to go find a seat. Thankfully an usher came and offered to walk me to a seat and sat me at the end of a row with a seat between me and a couple. Soon after a man walks up and scoots by to the seat. Then a women comes to him and they chat and shoot me a nervous look. And then I realize something, the usher has put me in a saved seat. I feel the blood rush up to my cheeks and am suddenly overwhelmed with this urge to pick up my things and leave. I can't shake this feeling. I literally bend down to get my stuff when the song we're singing catches my ear...


"Bearing shame and scoffing rude, in my place condemned he stood. Hallelujah, what a savior!" I realized this urge to leave was not coming from the God who loved me so much but from a doubt and voice that didn't want me to hear something. And boy does that voice wish I had left instead of stayed and had my heart completely wrapped up in God's power.


Matthew 18:3-4, "Truly I sat to you, unless you turn and become like children you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles themselves like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." (ATV-Ashley Taylor Version)


Now the speaker made a good point. Children are completely dependent. Children do not worry about what will come of them. They don't look at you and say, "If the car breaks down are we going to have enough money to fix it? Do we have enough food for supper? Am I going to get a promotion?" They know who is supposed to take care of them and rely fully and completely on that provider. How can God rule in a life of someone that wants to be in charge? He gave us free will and will not force us to follow him unless we choose to submit ourselves and our lives to his plan. Even after we submit we can't go around thinking that we know what it is because if you are anything like me you get a whiff of where something is headed and will put yourself in charge of it. 


He then led us to a verse that I've read a million times and of all the times I've pondered it's meaning I've never really said, "Alright, I guess I can do that."


Matthew 6:33 "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." 


Seek first the kingdom of heaven and these things will be added to you. Don't grasp for power or security. Grasp for God. Seek Him. Find Him. Just be in his presence. Don't hold back your trust. He's got it all taken care of. He knows what you need and he will give it to you. Why would he hold back something from a child that would make them so happy? He wouldn't. 


Live Today.

Just Keep Going.

7 January 2007. The day we put my father in the ground. I miss him. I love him. But there is someone much greater that goes above and beyond and needs to be honored for everything they have done. 

That person is my mother.

Growing up my mom was the strictest one on the block. (Probably in the whole county actually) She kept me and Andy in check and showed us both strict, yet completely unconditional love. In February of 2003, after my brother's car wreck she went to Atlanta's Shepherd Center to stay with him and support him. I stayed in Jesup, but I knew that she loved me from far away and she always told me that she did. After my brother passed away, she did something truly remarkable. 

She kept going.

I remember many days with her at the table writing thank you notes. Writing my brother's eulogy. And still loving me and showing me that the world keeps turning and God does love you even though bad things happen. There were days that we were both really sad, but she kept showing me how to stay strong and look toward a brighter future. She pushed me hard in school. I wasn't allowed to not get an average grade in a class. She always told me, "I'm going to expect the best out of you. I know what you're capable of and I will never accept any less than that." Some days I absolutely hated the fact that she thought I was smart, but she made sure I knew what I was capable of and that I held myself to high expectations. Then my freshman year another tragedy hit. My father passed away. And yet she did something again that is truly remarkable.

She kept going. 

She knew that God has a plan for all of this to happen to her. And she would not let these trials tear her heart away from a God that loved her more than life itself. She clung to God and showed me how to do that as well. There are many times I myself wonder how in the world she does it. However, I do know that without this warrior of a woman I would not even be close to the person I am today. She kept laughing, smiling, praying, singing, loving, and helping others even when her heart was breaking. 

She goes behind the scenes to make sure that people she loves and sometimes people that don't even know her can have a better day or an easier time with a task. She listens to me gripe about college. She's the best math teacher in all of Wayne County. She gives of herself until she has nothing else to give... and then she gives a whole lot more. She will tell you the honest truth even when you don't want to hear it. (Believe me, I know from firsthand personal experience) Yet she will uplift you and comfort you. She taught me to live life with God first, others second, and yourself last. 

So mom, this one's for you. You're the most resilient woman I know. I know I drive you completely INSANE sometimes (as you've so lovingly told me) but know I do love you, admire you, and watch you to see how to live my life. Thank you for never stopping and showing me how to roll with the punches and genuinely give to other without expecting a return. I'm a lucky girl to have you as a mother. I love you mom.

Live Today.

Gladly Weak.

It's been absolutely too long since I've written and so much has happened to me. There's been Christmas, New Years, 2011 Move Conference, loss of a family member, gaining one, and joy. Pure joy.


I got to go to the Voyles family Christmas and see some family that I have not seen in years. Little did I know it would be the last time that I would see my Uncle Jeff. He and I had a great conversation about nursing and why I wanted to go into that profession and I even got to bandage him up that night. A few days later he was admitted to the hospital and passed away 1 January to celebrate the New Year with the Lord. I am always going to be thankful to have that last Christmas gathering with Uncle Jeff. On "real Christmas" I got to spend time with my mom and her side of the family. It's always a great time whenever we get together. Too much food was eaten and there's no way for too much laughter but we came close. We also found out that one of my cousins is expecting! I am SO excited to meet little Baby whenever they get here! 


After Christmas I got the opportunity to work at the Move Conference in Macon, Georgia. I had attended that conference every year since I was in sixth grade and the opportunity to work it was just awesome. I worked at the Aaron Keyes booth which was positioned right towards the front and I got to see all the kids before they entered into the arena. I had conversations with kids about pretty much anything and got to meet some great down-to-earth artists. The people I worked with were an amazing group of people. We had so much fun and ragged each other about everything. After the first day of the conference some of us went to Steak & Shake, and after a long day of being on your feet, herding youth, and bouncing around everything turned into the most hilarious thing that we'd ever heard or seen. 


The irony in all of this is I was struggling. My father passed away 7 January 2007 and I was hurting this year because 2012 makes it five years. I was struggling with the fact that I wished he was here. I wished that he wasn't taken. I know that this wish and thought is rational but to me it felt like weakness. And I realized, I am weak. I'm human. I asked one of my best friends to pray for me and her boyfriend gave me the exact verse I needed. 


2 Corinthians 12: 9-10: "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ¹⁰ For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Not only did God send Rob with the perfect verse, but also God gave me joy. "I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." Have joy in your weakness. Boast that you are weak so that God can show his strength that much more. 

Live Today.