Today Is Not A Terrible Day

|Thank you Mama Joy for the inspiration|

Yesterday was one of those days where you look up, close your eyes, and mutter, "Really, Lord? Really?" Then you open your eyes and take another step. 

I started working at a pediatric office in January, and as you can probably guess the smells, sights, and sounds are never boring. I've encountered rough days where I've called people and said, "If you prayed for patience I will hurt you." However yesterday was a new level of frustration. So much so that I needed human contact for comfort. I was on my way to my fiancé's apartment and saw that Mama Joy was at Kenerly Kreations. I impulsively stopped, got out of the car, and asked if she was available. Thankfully she put her work aside and came to see me. I guess my face said it all and when I said I needed a hug, she delivered no questions asked. 

We got to chatting about everything that was going on in our lives and how we were just having things pull us in all directions. I then said, "It's just been a terrible day." She stopped and told me a story:

A friend of hers (and mother to a friend of mine) had cancer. She was dying. Yet, Mrs. Anna Keith was at Ward's Fabrics so she could make her daughter a baton costume. Mrs. Joy met her at the shop and quickly began to recount what had delayed her citing one thing after another then said, "It's just been a terrible day." Mrs. Anna stopped, turned around, and said, "Joy, this is not a terrible day. You don't know what a terrible day is."

Now to some of you that may seem harsh, however; Mrs. Anna had been thru treatments, she saw her daughter and knew that her time with her was limited, and she looked death in the face... sometimes she did that all in one day. Folks, that is a terrible day. Not the locking of keys in the car, baby spit up, or even temporary frustrations at work equal a terrible day. 

My entire family - and I'm sure you as well - have had a few terrible days. Death, disease, heartache, infidelity, injury, betrayal, etc. The list can go on forever. These terrible days though are few and far between. There may be a series of hard days that turns into a hard week that could even lead to a hard month, but we can't let ourselves turn our slight frustrations into terrible days.

"Self-pity is a bottomless pit. Once you fall in, you tend to go deeper and deeper into the mire. As you slide down those slippery walls, you are well on your way to depression, and the darkness is profound." -Jesus Calling, July 16
"He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put there trust in the Lord." -Psalm 40:2-3

Don't fall into that slimy pit. But if you do, Jesus will help pick you up.

Live Today.

On A Tilt

The last time I wrote, I was talking about my life in Jesup. Well, only one major change has happened... D proposed! It was almost a week after I wrote my last post that he popped the question on St. Simon's Island at sunset. (Yes he did have the dogs involved and yes he did kneel at a certain angle to make the ring sparkle in the sunlight.) We are THRILLED to be planning our big day together. All the while, little things that I would have never thought of (i.e. what color are the dishes going to be and do they coordinate with the placemats?) have come out of the woodwork. Thank the good Lord above that I have a wonderful group of friends and family here to help me figure out if that teal should be paired with cream/faded brown/sand. (There are literally four different names for the same color.) 

I can't pinpoint when it happened. In fact, I don't know what I was doing when I had the realization. I just knew that I was overwhelmed, no where near peace, and was exhausting myself quickly. An entry level job coupled with impending student loan payments didn't help either. I found myself in a constant cycle of "I really need to get this... but I'm too poor to afford it." Let me just add that I made the mistake of not paying attention to my dog food level, and thanks to the saving grace of my fiancée I was able to feed Daisy for an afternoon. That's the kind of stress level we're talking about here. 

Then suddenly something just clicked. My brain quite literally went, "Ding. When's the last time your prayed for longer than 30 seconds? When's the last time you asked God to speak and then you waited and listened?" Doug and I had already faced a monumental trial and of course thru that I prayed and quoted the Bible. Then all of the sudden I was able to run my own little world, until I wasn't.

My world didn't shatter into a million little pieces nor did my heart break. My world just tilted before I even realized that it was moving. The finances were suddenly not as important. Neither were the shades of colors. (I'm still baffled that there are different names for the same color. Don't you even dare pull the "Cerulean" quote from the Devil Wears Prada.) All that was important was waking up each day and looking around me at people that need service. 

Doug and I were talking one day and the topic of service came up. He told me that if he could make sure that he served someone in someway each and every day he would be happy. First, how ironic is it that he's talking about this topic? Two, I added that to his pile of "Things That Make Doug Great". I am very lucky to be marrying someone that so innately feels something for which I need a constant reminder. 

Live Today.

What Am I Doing With My Life?

This actually isn't a philosophical post... Gotcha!

2 months ago, my mom and I were in Brunswick and originally went to pick out a new iPhone and left with a puppy. Something was off when we were looking at phones and as I was walking out, I logged onto Facebook and checked the Brunswick, Ga Animal Rescue page, squealed, and told my mom we HAD to go look at puppies. I convinced her to think that we probably weren't going to get one, but 20 minutes later we walked back to the kennels and my heart fell in love with the first puppy that yelped at me. 

I took Julie out to go play in the grass and it was love at first bark. I looked at 2 more and then too Julie and Mary to the adoption room and after interacting with them both I knew that little Julie was my dog. Her name changed to Daisy, I signed on the dotted line, payed a fee, and off we went to PetsMart. Fast forward 2 months and here I am with a 5 month old puppy that's growing like a weed, snoring like a lumberjack, and finally getting on to the Potty Training Express. However, I will say that this is not what I envisioned for myself at my college graduation. 

"So, what are you doing with your life?" This is the most popular question that I'm asked these days. Here's my answer: I am working as a medical scribe at a pediatric doctor's office, I am volunteering at another private practice office, raising a dog, applying for PA school, getting used to living with my mother, and adjusting to the weird (yet AWESOME) fact that I live 5 minutes away from my boyfriend. Yet while I'm answering the question I am thinking that I need to be at home letting out the dog, asking for letters of recommendation, volunteering more, planning something...anything, and reading my Bible... all at the same time. 

I thought that life after graduation would slow down, but it has only picked up in ways that I never saw coming. There are challenges at every stage of life, and everyone warns you about the post-grad blues but I have been nothing but blessed. It's been great not having to worry about exams or class and I love my job, community, living arrangement, dog, and boyfriend. The only thing that I find myself lacking is quiet time alone with God. That's where I fall short. 

Instead of answering that question like I always do, I think I'm going to start mentioning that I'm living my normal busy life trying to find time to spend with God. There are many methods I've tried to get that quiet time in there but I'm still working to find one that's consistent. It's hard, but it's so worth it. My future's in good hands. 

So that is what I'm doing with my life.

Live Today.