Clear Eyes. Full Heart. Can't Lose.

I'm going to go ahead and give a shout out to James Burris for the title. 


Oh and to everyone I talked to yesterday (Parker Wayne, Lindsey Isbell, James, Lindsey Cobb, Bekah, and Mom) your wise words mean a lot more than you know. (Lindsey Isbell, thanks for calling me out.)


So, tomorrow is the day that I give this eulogy for Marshall. It is typed up, outlined, put on notecards, and just ready to be delivered. The closer that the time approaches, the further away from the task I want to run. And I also learned something today, tomorrow is Luke's birthday. Luke is Marshall's son who is turning three tomorrow and I know that it is going to be extremely hard on Karen to celebrate without feeling some grief in her heart.

And that's where I begin. If someone had described this week as "crazy" I would look at them and say you are darn right. Even though academically it has not been as stressful, emotions have flown like a river. I have prayed for strength and it has been given. This week has been one of full reliance on a God that knows a plan. Even though I know he has a plan, that doesn't stop the hurt and it doesn't answer the question why it hurts. 


I got to talk to Parker Wayne last night for a long long time and chat with Lindsey Cobb a little today and it was such a blessing to catch up with them and know that even if I go too long without talking to them it's not awkward whenever we talk, it's like we just pick up wherever we left off. We discussed a serious topic and it is "How dare you waste the life that you've been given?" Think about that. We were given this. We didn't ask for it, we didn't even ask for the experiences that we were given. But we are blessed enough to have gotten life, unique experiences, and friends that can always put us in our place and remind us who should be first. 


Needless to say, I am really looking forward to the weekend. I'm going to Gatlinburg, Tennessee for the first time for a formal weekend. I'm such a lover of the mountains that I'm just excited to get on the road and get up there! I'm actually going shopping at a thrift store for some flannels and other mountainous apparel because I'm sensing with the sudden temperature drop and pouring condensation the summer clothes I have just simply aren't going to cut it. 


So even though this week has presented challenges, I have Clear Eyes (the knowledge that I can keep going and it's going to be a-okay) a Full Heart (excitement for the weekend and just the future in general) and I know I Can't Lose. Even Marshall's favorite verse resonates this message. 


"³¹What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?"
Romans 8:31


Live Today.