To be honest, this is not a post I want to write. In fact, I'm pretty sure no one likes to admit their struggles, failures, and frustrations. But as a person, I believe being transparent can change the world. Of course I believe there is a time and place for such things and for me the time and the place is here and now.
I have previously written about how simple words from an adviser wrecked my graduation plan to no end. Well from there started a spiral into frustration, anger, and silence that has only recently begun to lift. After walking out of the office, I cried and cried because it wasn't fair. The hard work that had been put in wasn't being rewarded and it just wasn't fair. Well, oddly enough I somehow continuously forgot to remind myself that life isn't fair. Then my speech came. It went so well and I knew that I was doing something I was called to do. I lost myself in the moment of speaking to pause my time and look at men and women and genuinely say, "You are going to be alright."
Even the past few weekends have been talks about deadlines and can we make it all come together in time. Am I on the right path that will have me graduating in 2014? How many classes do I have left? How many inches can/should I lose? When is Miss Georgia? What is my GPA? What do I have to make to maintain it?
Don't get me wrong. Deadlines are needed. I believe that for some things, you can't just go with the wind and see where you wind up. We need structure and we need a path. But the hardened mindset of an unchanging path is where I fall into trouble. I was so set on reaching all of my goals and making sure that I did them before the due date that I forgot to look up and see, smile, and appreciate how far I had come. There are so many more things enjoyable in life. For me, the phone call with a friend was what I needed to turn it all around. To hear someone like myself admit this struggle all of the sudden things made sense. I might not falter with some things, but time will always be my weakness. I don't want to squander my days but the precious relationships that come along should be more important than finishing the check-list for the day.
This weekend, I spent time with friends that I haven't seen in a good while. Their kids had grown up so much, and my mother and I got to see their last soccer game of the season. Watching those kids go after the ball with no sense of time for substitutions or the half, just a passion to kick the ball in the right direction or get closer to the ball to attempt a kick was a sweet and wonderful reminder for me. Sometime life isn't always about making the perfect kick, pass, or run downfield; it's about the passion of playing the game. We all are living borrowed lives, which makes it all the better when we spend time passionately following after our goals not concentrating on when the whistle will be blown.
Live Today.
I have previously written about how simple words from an adviser wrecked my graduation plan to no end. Well from there started a spiral into frustration, anger, and silence that has only recently begun to lift. After walking out of the office, I cried and cried because it wasn't fair. The hard work that had been put in wasn't being rewarded and it just wasn't fair. Well, oddly enough I somehow continuously forgot to remind myself that life isn't fair. Then my speech came. It went so well and I knew that I was doing something I was called to do. I lost myself in the moment of speaking to pause my time and look at men and women and genuinely say, "You are going to be alright."
Even the past few weekends have been talks about deadlines and can we make it all come together in time. Am I on the right path that will have me graduating in 2014? How many classes do I have left? How many inches can/should I lose? When is Miss Georgia? What is my GPA? What do I have to make to maintain it?
Don't get me wrong. Deadlines are needed. I believe that for some things, you can't just go with the wind and see where you wind up. We need structure and we need a path. But the hardened mindset of an unchanging path is where I fall into trouble. I was so set on reaching all of my goals and making sure that I did them before the due date that I forgot to look up and see, smile, and appreciate how far I had come. There are so many more things enjoyable in life. For me, the phone call with a friend was what I needed to turn it all around. To hear someone like myself admit this struggle all of the sudden things made sense. I might not falter with some things, but time will always be my weakness. I don't want to squander my days but the precious relationships that come along should be more important than finishing the check-list for the day.
This weekend, I spent time with friends that I haven't seen in a good while. Their kids had grown up so much, and my mother and I got to see their last soccer game of the season. Watching those kids go after the ball with no sense of time for substitutions or the half, just a passion to kick the ball in the right direction or get closer to the ball to attempt a kick was a sweet and wonderful reminder for me. Sometime life isn't always about making the perfect kick, pass, or run downfield; it's about the passion of playing the game. We all are living borrowed lives, which makes it all the better when we spend time passionately following after our goals not concentrating on when the whistle will be blown.
Live Today.
No comments:
Post a Comment