Angels Unawares

I'm finding as the semesters draw on, my time between blogging gets longer and longer. However, it's a new year and so far an interesting one at that!

For Christmas my mother gave me a ticket to Miss America in VEGAS! And I was so surprised. Little did she know that people were plotting together to get her there with me! We were able to surprise her the day after Christmas with a poem and hand her a plane ticket midst squeals, tears, and more squeals. Watching her receive a gift that could have only been a dream was something truly special. 

Between Christmas and New Years many things happened and somewhere in the middle of that I got hit with the realization of I can tell people I want to do Children's Ministry all I want, but when do I start turning that telling into doing? There is no time like the present. In what can only be described as a manic fury, I wrote emails and sent them out and have gotten a response! There seems to be no end to the opportunities and blessings that one can receive when you begin to act out rather than just speak out. 

I went to Vegas and had a wonderful time! Even if I did sit in a hotel room for a few hours and attempt organic chemistry and calculus. I got to have an experience of a life time! I've seen THE Miss America Crowned, walked the Vegas strip with someone and by myself, and I played slots! (Shhh, don't tell!) But my greatest moment came from talking with a dear friend. She actually got to compete and not only did she nail every single part of competition, but also she nailed God's mission for her in Vegas. She took courage to stand up in the middle of a room full of girls frantically running around to ask for a moment to pause and thank the Lord. What an example. 

Now this got me thinking. Since when did I become too consumed with my own life to even share my faith with someone else? To take that broad step and mention how important my relationship with God is to a complete stranger. I knew that the next day I would be flying out and sitting to a stranger so I asked for God to give me courage to talk to people in the airport. Boy did he grant that request. Shortly after arriving at the airport, I got thru security, sat down, and began to stream online. A man ate at my table and I stopped to talk with him for a while and before I knew it the time to board had arrived. 

After going thru the awkwardness of trying to find a seat, I settled next to an older lady who seemed to be quite inviting. A pit formed in my stomach as I went to introduce myself and begin the routine airplane chit-chat. As we began to talk, I found that this lady was extraordinary. I mentioned that I was going into Children's Ministry and she began to ask me about what I wanted to teach kids, what I liked about the church in Atlanta, and share her story of faith with me. We talked the entire plane ride to Atlanta and I'm trying to find her on Facebook right now to just stay in touch. She helped me solidify my passion into action and challenged me to continue to pursue my dreams. 

I asked for courage and God gave me a stranger.
"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels unawares." Hebrews 13:2

Live Today.

Take Care

This past week I got the immense joy of going to Jesup for a couple of days and then down to Florida with the grandparents for Thanksgiving. I don't know if you don't enjoy your grandparents, don't know them, or never got the chance to truly know them, but I wholly invite you to come be apart of my family. Looking back on my favorite times with my family, my grandparents were there. Not just Grandma and Grandaddy from my mother's side but my Pop and Gan from my father's side as well. Any question I had to ask, they always had an answer. Grandparents have the best food, stories (which I believe to be somewhat enhanced from my grandfathers), and they have the best perspective. 

Now there are two men that I am particularly fond of and they are my Pop and my Granddaddy. These men stepped up and stepped in when I lost my own father and I have to say that they did a spectacular job. They filled my life with unconditional (and sometimes tough) love. If I have learned anything from my own short life here on this Earth, I know how time is fleeting. However, I never felt the depth and gravity of that knowledge until recently. For some reason this week I realized now more than ever is the time I should be spending with the best men I know. My life permanently changed after I lost my father but I couldn't ask for better men to have come in and give me that love, and my heart overflows with thankfulness and just awe at them.

This thankfulness extends so far past just these two men though. Sunday in church my pastor hit on the point. "The lack of a thankful heart is the beginning of man's rebellion against God." Well if that just didn't hit the nail on the head. I remembered Deuteronomy 6 where it says to take care lest you forget the Lord and what he has done for you. So often I just gaze over my blessing instead of truly thinking about them and the impact they have had on my entire life. I also realized that while we are given blessings, they are nothing if you don't remember to enjoy them.

As humans it is ridiculously easy for us to get caught up in the habit of thinking rather than action. I have thought about my blessings. I mean, I have taken time and just let the gravity of their impact be fully felt. And now I intend to maximize those blessings and really enjoy them. Whether that be more "just because" phone calls, slower runs to actually look at the scenery, or taking a moment to go swing. I encourage you to do the same. Don't let your days pass by in a haze because they are worth much more than your passing attention.

Live Today.

Never Late and Never Early

"Therefore preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ." 1 Peter 1:13

Reading and mulling this verse during my quiet time today brought up a point that I had overlooked when I read it last. "Set your hope FULLY". Honestly in this world what do we every do fully? So many times we think, well I just won't really put a lot into this because I don't think that it's going to be worth it in the end. I'm not saying that you should put yourself fully into something that is foolish, but I can't bring myself to think that hoping in the Lord and his plan is foolish. Heaven knows how many times I have been reminded just how great and powerful my God is and always will be. 

Recently, I've put serious consideration, a lot of belief, and action into my being a full time children's minister. This is a completely different path than MD or PA or nurse but I know in my heart that teaching kids about how much God loves them is a very strong passion of mine. Does this mean I am taking a risk? Yes. In many ways I have thought about and sought counsel on just how much of a risk I would take by going into full time ministry. Even after analyzing the cons (and the pros) I want to follow this passion. To me, seeing a child "get" God's enormous love and his amazing provision is something that makes me overjoyed. Children aren't afraid to ask questions, and hard questions at that, I am never ceased to be blown away with the complexity of a question about God a child has come up with. I mean, I've even asked the kid "Did you really think of that yourself?" because they are yearning to know something that people that have been Christians for years haven't even thought to ask. With that being said, looking back over my life and seeing how events and people came together, how those events and people helped shape a passion, and how much support I have received I am simply in awe of how God has led me to this season of life.

We always talk about how God is never late. We use bible stories like Lazarus and how Jesus raised him from the dead after he was in the tomb for four days to show just how God is never late. We also forget another important fact. God is never early. When Jesus first got word that Lazarus was sick, even the disciples assumed that they were immediately going to Lazarus. Jesus loved him. He knew his name. Yet Jesus said to wait. He didn't want to be early because he knew that being early and healing Lazarus before his death wouldn't show the people the entire power of God.

I struggled with impatience to get a direct and clear answer yet I wanted to know before it was my time to know. I fully trust that my hope in God and his direction for my life is not in vain, he has after all made us that promise.

Live Today.

Dream As Big As Dreams Can Be

First off, I feel like my last post needs some clarification. While I maintain that being a single upperclassman is hard, I am in NO RUSH to find someone, settle down, and do all that. I am still trying to get my feet under me here in the Greater Atlanta Area and I'm not exactly looking to go "girlfriending" anytime soon. That is, or at least I feel it is, still a long way down the road. I am very much satisfied with where I am at in life.


NEXT, the nursing school issue. Well, I got my answer. And it was a maybe. I was placed on the 2013 standby list but after talking with the advisor, my odds are slim to get in. I am not going to say that it was easy to hear those words. Or to sign a "Standby Contract". But the contract has been signed and the word has been given. Now where do I go from here? The plan, for the first time in my life, is genuinely wide open. There is not even a set back up plan that I have. And while I feel like I am wandering without any direction, I know that I am seeking direction continually and that whenever I am told where to go I will pursue that with my whole heart. Sometimes, we just get God's plan wrong.

Which means I'm honestly able to dream as big as a child in Kindergarten when you ask them what they want to be when they grow up. I've thought a lot about being a pharmacist, a physician's assistant, an optometrist, and even a doctor. I just know that my passion in life is to help kids get better and know that they are loved and cared for by at least one person in this world. I might not even stay in the science arena. I am no longer limited in my job selection and honestly that is a strange feeling.

I was talking to my sister a couple nights ago after I told her I just didn't feel very right and she brought to light so many things that are applicable but one seems to be a recurring theme throughout my talks with people after I found out my school news. "Maybe God is just holding you in his arms saying, "Taylor, just rest and let me hold you just a little bit longer. As soon as I let you go, you might not rest for a long long time." My "adopted" Mom in Jesup told me "Selah-- Be still and know that He is God." My mom in Suwanee told me "His ways are not our own. Wait for his way and go for it." And since God has slammed the breaks (again) I am waiting. My best friend told me "TayVo, Galatians 5, "Never get tired of doing good." Things may seem to all be falling down on you at once but hey, he's got it."

My mom and I got to talk and I told her it feels like this is watching Andy die all over again, I feel like this is my "no getting better" but then I think about how much better Andy really is. Our "no getting better" on Earth limited him and even my dreams to our own selfish desires. Maybe my "no getting better" and letting my dreams die will allow me to come in contact with one that's better than I can ever imagine. So as I figure out whether this is the death of a dream or just a complication I will "Be still" and dream.

"Dream a dream as big as a dream could ever be. Then dream a dream ten times as big as that one dream you see. Cause you're the one whose dreams can be whatever dreams you want. Whose dreams can change the way things are and the way that things are not. If they say that all you dreams are too big to come true, you tell them that I told you, "That's what dreams are MEANT to do!"

I might be Taylor Voyles, MD. And I'm okay with dreaming that.

Live Today.

Rush Hour

"Just because things don't work out according to the way of Taylor doesn't mean they won't work out according to the way of the Lord." 

This morning after making about what felt like 300 Pros/Cons list with my little sister, I got slammed with this truth. I've been going through the phase of being ready and able to being exhausted from waiting to finally having to get slapped in the face with words like that to wait with contentment and a ready, but not rushing, heart. 

A TON of my struggles come from either me trying to control too much or simply letting go and not trying to control anything at all. I understand people say "Let go and let God" and while this is true to some extent I don't believe this gives us the ability to the free pass to not control our own actions or at least try to contribute positively to a situation. Could I control how my interviewers viewed me for my nursing school interview? No.
Could I control how I gave my answer and the attitude that I portrayed in the interview? Yes.

I am still waiting for my nursing school letter indicating denial or acceptance but while I'm here I know that I can control more than my attitude, I can get a grip on my thoughts. The mind has the ability to affect literally every aspect of your life and if you don't reign it in how in the world do you expect to keep your attitude and your tongue in check? 

So often I have let negative thoughts come in and ruin my waiting process. And not just the waiting process for nursing school but for so many other "life" things as well. I've talked with a lot of my very good friends about this and the answer has always been "Taylor, just wait, just wait." The answer gets old and you get calloused to hearing it. 

The pressure causes people to go into overdrive. And without people to keep them in check there is nothing stopping them from rushing into something they may not be ready for just yet. It's easy to rush in a world that seems to think faster is better, but in some parts of life it's just good to take it slow. My friends and family have kept my thoughts and heart in check numerous times with so many various issues. I'm not in any rush to try and bend the will and the timing of my God to what I think it should be. If you're rushing with the rest of the world you're either going to crash or hit some serious traffic ... and ain't nobody got time for that.

Live today.

In The Middle

I've interviewed. Taken 4 tests. Worked every day. And even went home this weekend. Yet even in the midst of the crazy I feel like I didn't even stress about anything until my interview on Wednesday. 

I walked into the interview room and everything we talked about I felt like I was knowledgeable on the subject and now know that my job at Guardian Pharmacy has allowed me to have medical experience that I could talk about in my interview. Not only did I get to talk about my job but I also got to talk about Marshall. Speaking about this brought up emotions but somehow I was able to keep a calm and steady voice and finish my interview. I know that I gave the interviewers everything I had and all I have to do it wait. 

There's nothing I can do, and as you all know that is not something I deal with well. Yet at this time I've found myself a lot less stressed about school work or even nursing in general. I have a feeling of just being able to let go like never before. I guess it's from the knowledge that God will not forsake me. It doesn't matter whether or not I get in because there's another plan in action if I don't and if I do, then I know I am following down the path I believe God has going right now. 

I am stuck in the middle of decisions. It's not a completely easy place to be yet I know that here God has to be and in completely in control. There is nothing for me to even try and grip to and change. I've found peace in letting go and can only say that it's an experience that I am really enjoying. Updates will be posted as soon as I get them!

Live Today.

My Andy

I am BEYOND THRILLED to announce that I received a letter from the WellStar School of Nursing indicating my selection for an interview! (That will hopefully be followed by full acceptance!) I got my letter today and that is a miracle in and of itself but what is probably not known is the back story behind this letter.

I knew to go ahead and start looking in the mail for a letter indicating acceptance or denial and I had obviously prayed for acceptance. Well, I hadn't received my letter but in church this Sunday, a friend let me in on the hint of going online and trying to sign up for an interview because if you get in you can sign up and vice versa. And being the patient person that I am, I actually waited until I got into the car before I checked instead of looking right there during Sunday School. I logged onto OwlExpress, clicked on the link, and my heart broke.

Once again, I stared failure in the face. And thankfully the shock took a moment to set in so I could begin my sobbing in a parking lot rather than in the car with three little ones. I climbed out of the car and stood in the parking lot and with a broken heart just sobbed for a good minute. Thankfully my mom was there to comfort me in person and not just over the phone this time. And her talk was one of the most inspiring I've ever heard, 

"Taylor, you can't lie down and not fight for something you love... something you believe in. Think of this, when Andy was in his car wreck I fought for him for 18 days. I fought tooth and nail for him. The doctors knew when I was coming because they knew that I'd have questions they'd have to answer or things I'd want them to do to help Andy. I fought for him because I loved him. I fought for him until God showed me and told me, "Denise, there is no getting better." Only then did your dad and I decide to let him go. We had done everything we could for him. We loved him, raised him in a Christian home, watched over him, prayed for him, he was saved, and we Fought. For. Him. against every odd. Your nursing dream hasn't reached "no getting better". You have the grades, you have the knowledge, and you have the ability. Go fight for your dream. Until God shows you that there is "no getting better" you must never give up."

After some research I realized that my entrance exam scores hadn't been turned in and then all of the sudden, I had hope. I called the office today and an advisor asked me to bring my my scores and within a matter of minutes the decision had been reversed and I received an acceptance letter for an interview! I had fought for what I love and I had come out on top. I had won for my Andy. 

Thanks to many people for so much encouragement. I definitely couldn't have fought without you. Go fight for your Andy. Don't let your fear of failure stop your from fighting for your dream. Until there is "no getting better" don't ever give it up.

Live Today.